By Corinne, guest blogger
Let’s talk about the P word. No, not the one in the news lately. The one attached to my little boy. That’s right. Let’s talk about the penis.
First, let me say that I always wanted a little boy. Not that I didn’t want a girl, but if I had a choice, my oldest child was going to be a boy. Lo and behold, the universe cooperated and unto us a son was born!
And then it happened. I realized that I had to deal with/take care of/potentially interact with?! a penis. Now, this doesn’t seem like a big deal, because, you know, I know how the baby got here. So I am at least somewhat familiar with this part of the male anatomy. But I mean, this one was on a baby! How do you deal with that?
So I entered motherhood with the basic notion that if I left it alone, it would leave me alone and all would be well. This sounds like sound mothering advice. In this case, however, NOT TRUE.
First, there was the circumcision question.
Do you? Don’t you? Should you? I had no idea. The hubs got total decision making power on that one. Thank you, honey.
Then came the first visit to the pediatrician. Where I innocently said, “I can’t figure out what is wrong with his diapers. He keeps peeing out the top and getting his clothes wet.” The pediatrician (God Bless her), opened my son’s diaper, placed her finger on his penis and said, Point it down, while also moving it.
Wait, what?? I’m supposed to touch it? And move it? My response to her (seriously): “My mother told me not to touch those things.” She laughed. He never peed out the top of his diaper again.
As my son got older, he would occasionally complain about his “wiener” (his choice of word). I didn’t know what was going on until one day in the car he started crying about it bothering him. I pulled into a parking lot and turned around so he could show me what was wrong. He had his pants pulled down and guess what?
He had an erection and he was distraught.
It wouldn’t lay down, it wasn’t cooperating, it was totally upsetting him. I had to turn around to hide the hysterical laughter coming from my body. Poor guy. I reassured him everything was fine and sometimes that “just happens” and threw in an “ask your father” for good measure. Good luck, Daddio.
Along the way we were blessed with son #2, and I thought, “I’ve got this!” But if you have more than one child, you know no two of these precious humans are alike. So he has his own set of penis adventures.
Or at least he would, if he ever let go of it. Ever. No, seriously. EVER. There is no chance of it getting lost, being misplaced or sneaking away. He’s on guard. Don’t you worry.
But at least he never peed out the top of his diaper.
For more innocent adventures with the penis, check out this post: The 10 penis rules for boys.
And share your own boy mom trials below or on Facebook at MothersRest.
About the guest blogger:
Corinne is the author of the blog, Rocking Chair Secrets, where she helps caregivers navigate the rocking chair years with grace, humor, information, and sass. She’s also a super entrepreneur and mom of two rambunctious boys – and girls. She’s been at the mom-thing a little longer than me, so I appreciate her perspective on parenting.
You can read her other guest posts here: The 6 biggest myths about ADOPTION and The truth about newborns (hint: there’s a lot of poop).
Photo credit: Jason Rosewell from Unsplash.com