mother with child

We are the mommas with IVF babies

In my friends and family circle, I am one of 21 mommas who have IVF to thank for bringing kiddos into our lives. As in THIRTY children! And I bet I know a WHOLE LOT MORE FOLKS in this special tribe, but we just haven’t gotten around to talking about it yet.

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When my son was little, I read him the fantastic book, It’s So Amazing!, part of the “It’s NOT the Stork” book series on reproduction, including IVF. Our conversation went like this…

Him: “So I’m a robot?”
Me: “What?”
Him: “You said a scientist made me.”

Wanna know a secret? He isn’t really a robot. Even if he likes to dress like one for Halloween.


Southern Baptists oppose IVF

I grew up Southern Baptist. And then my church got kicked out of the denomination for promoting women leaders and accepting gay families. But I don’t remember hearing much anti-IVF talk back in the day.

Sadly, in this post-Roe world, anything is game.

According to Erick Sessions, a pastor who attended the June 2024 Southern Baptist Convention, where they voted to oppose IVF:

“Anytime you get outside of the normal means within which procreation occurs, the more foreign you get or the more alien you get from that, the more you have to consider its moral implications. When you divorce it now from the actual physical act of sex, and you put it into a laboratory, it just becomes further and further away from the normal means within the natural world of procreation.”


Well, bud, we mommas tried the “normal means” and didn’t get anywhere. (You can read my struggle with infertility in this post.)

And we all view our scientists/fertility specialists/medical teams/embryologists/doctors/midwives/doulas as Jesus reincarnate. In fact, a bunch of us go to church every Sunday with our IVF babes in tow to thank Jesus on repeat. (We just don’t attend the Southern Baptist kind.)


A bunch of “normal” mommas

So who are we?

Those of us who chose to pursue an alternate route to motherhood are a pretty normal looking tribe of mommas. Here’s why:

1. All of us have college degrees – several with MBAs, JDs, PhDs. We’re smart cookies. We don’t take medical decisions lightly.

2. Several of us have experienced the devastating loss of miscarriage.

3. A few of us had a “normal” conception before or after our IVF loves were born.

4. A couple of us are divorced. Because marriage is hard. With or without kids.

5. Many of our kids go to public school. With your kids.

6. A few got lucky with twins. A few decided on “one and done.”

7. All of us love our kids from the tips of their toes to the tips of their noses. Can’t get much more “normal” than that, right?


Tricky procreation

Want to know more about us?

There are two lesbian couples in the bunch. One momma used a surrogate. Two mommas used donor eggs. Another momma had a bicornuate uterus. One momma had ovarian cancer.

All this means the “normal means” of procreation was pretty tricky.

So thank you, Baby Jesus, for the scientists.


What does your motherhood journey look like? Share your story below or on Facebook at MothersRest.


Photo credit: Image by Jupi Lu from Pixabay

2 thoughts on “We are the mommas with IVF babies

  1. My fertility journey was long and complicated. I had a miscarriage that didn’t complete in 1998. It required a D&C which is now villainized by the anti-Roe crew. Then, I became pregnant with the most beautiful baby girl ever born. She died at age 8 in 2008. Fast forward 4 years and there were two more miscarriages. I found out I was in premature menopause then at 38. My late husband and I used IVF with donor eggs to bring our amazing son into this world. For science I am thankful.

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your story. What a journey you’ve been on. Here’s to you, your husband, beautiful daughter, and your amazing son❤️

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