Under “normal” circumstances, we moms can tackle the deepest of issues with aplomb. We build things. We conquer things. We move mountains. I am woman, hear me roar.
But life with a newborn is, well, different. You are ON! 24-7. Which leads us to the shock and awe of sleep deprivation. Before you now it, the mountains are crashing down and you’re a foggy-minded, hysterical, irrational, grouchy, raging mess.
Gearing up for maternity leave
The antidote to this is to BE PREPARED. Enter: the working girl’s guide to survive maternity leave. Your new BFF.
And this goes for stay-at-home-moms, too.
But if you’re a working lady right now, you need to make yourself obsolete at work FIRST. So check out this post about how to delegate and TURN OFF YOUR WORK EMAIL before you proceed: How to prep for maternity leave like a lady boss.
Now where was I?
Oh, yes… Welcoming baby home is all kinds of crazy. There’s so much to learn about little sweetness. And so much to learn about yourself.
How’s this nursing thing supposed to work? How’m I supposed to change a diaper? Without getting peed on? When’s this kid ever gonna stop crying? When’s this kid ever gonna sleep? When’m I ever gonna sleep?
The list goes on.
Before baby arrives, make a list of all the things in life that make you happy. Find paper and pen and start scribbling. Do not judge, just write.
I’m talking puppies and kittens and non-crying-always-smiling babies and hip hop and Christmas carols and shiny jewels and glow-in-the-dark stars and peacocks and killer heels and Coco Chanel and bubbles and lady bugs and anything from Tiffany’s and lots of dark chocolate and coffee with friends and laughter and hot showers and silky pajamas. You get the picture.
When life gets hard and dark and ick-filled, this list will be your life-line back to your former amazing self. Keep this list on the frig so that baby daddy can pick out a thing or two to help you regain your mind (if he notices – wishful thinking, eh?)
You can even make your list PRETTY and FUN TO LOOK AT by plugging it into one of those word cloud things.
Or, in your free time, get all Pinterest-y and decorate a dartboard with each item. Then you can throw your pretty little, homemade dart at it (so you don’t throw a 3-day-old dirty dish at hubby). Wherever that dart lands, meditate on how you can get that thing in your life right this very second. As in alert the it-takes-a-village village to borrow someone’s dog right this very second.
(Research shows that petting an animal is calming and will lower your heart rate. Plus, baby will be completely fascinated by it long enough for you to pee. all. by. yourself.)
Your maternity leave manifesto
And now, while you’re pre-baby lucid, it’s time to prepare the maternity leave manifesto.
You get to be judgey now.
Review your list and pick 5 or so things that you can create a ritual around. That you could realistically do every week to give yourself a sanity-boost once baby arrives.
So that trip to Rome probably won’t make the cut, but, hey, a girl can dream. And killer heels – well, my oldest is almost 4 now and I have yet to put on these babies for more than 15 minutes. As in I carried them to work one day in a box, put them on for a client meeting, took them off after the meeting, and carried them back home in the box.
Tips to survive maternity leave
To inspire you, here are 6 things that helped me when my second babe arrived. As a bonus, these rules also help guard against resentment-inducing ick that festers when you’re a sleepless zombie.
1. Do not fold adult laundry
Pull clean clothes straight out of the drier and let them sit in the laundry basket til needed. Wrinkles are beautiful.
2. Stop doing chores
Hire a housekeeper or bribe the neighbor’s kid to help you out. Or simply just stop working on all things “no fun” at 8pm every night.
3. Schedule play dates
At least once a week – for YOU! Your newborn could care less. This can be as easy as inviting another new mom over to walk around the park for 45 minutes while your babes snooze away in their strollers. Bonus: it’ll help you lose pregnancy pounds.
4. Attend “baby and me” classes
At least once a week. At the hospital or local community resource center or Le Leche League or MOPS group. You’ll get to bond with other mommas and learn a thing or two.
5. Schedule lunch dates
This is similar to tip #3 above, but is all about food and fellowship. Shoot for twice a week with a girlfriend or two. They can bring food to your house or you can venture out with baby (and hold your breath that he doesn’t have a diaper blow-out on the way to the restaurant.)
6. Say YES! as much as possible
To any offers from “the village” to bring you groceries or hold your baby or cook you a meal or give you a hug or paint your toes or wash your car…
Ladies, these rules were life-saving for me during maternity leave. They helped me tap into my inner strength to move mountains for my little ones.
May your maternity leave manifesto help you be a better YOU, a better mom and a better partner.
What’s on your happy list? What’s on your working girl’s guide to survive maternity leave? Share your thoughts below or on Facebook at MothersRest.com.
Photo credit, featured image: Valeria Zoncoll from Unsplash.com