By Sara, guest blogger

Are you feeling like me these days? Like a total train wreck?

Are you struggling, too? Do you know who you are anymore?

I at least know Grey’s Anatomy.

As in a few months ago I met up with some girlfriends for a Grey’s Anatomy trivia night. (We came in second place #traumaqueens)

Binge-watching Grey’s Anatomy

A few days later I decided to binge-watch every season of this heart-wrenching show. Just in case another Grey’s trivia night pops up in our area. I mean second place is ok – but FIRST is better!

I made it to season 10 and Cristina Yang starts contemplating every decision she’s ever made since she began residency. She takes us through this saga of “if this, then this happens,” and the episode plays out every scenario.

She keeps asking, “Do you know who you are? Do you understand what has happened to you?” (Thanks, Cristina, for making me second guess all my life choices!)

Check out a clip from the episode – complete with subtitles (because youtube is weird).

Struck by a train

I mean, let’s be honest: Motherhood makes you feel like you’ve been struck by a train. Then there are the days every boxcar beats you up as it passes. It’s easy to lose yourself. To forget what makes you tick. And what makes you feel alive.

Because: we’re so busy struggling to keep our spouses happy, raising kids to be decent humans, working, tackling laundry, cooking, cleaning, blah, blah, blah. I’m exhausted just typing this list. You get the picture.

Oh wait, here comes another boxcar…

You have to take care of yourself, too! Making time to exercise, shower, and drink (hot) coffee. Enjoying some quiet time before the kids wake. Staying up-to-date on current topics and trends. All the things that round out our humanity as women.

Yes, Cristina, I do know what has happened to me. I have been hit by a train and I have no brain cells left to function.

As the box cars keep coming, I gotta stop and ask, “Do you know who you are?”

Nope, no clue.

My life has become consumed by grocery list, toddler tantrums and dirty dishes in the sink. I struggle to find a purpose and constantly find myself in a rut.

Plus, there’s this looming pressure that we moms need to find something to fulfill us. We look to social media to see what everyone else is doing – to see what we NEED to be doing.

We go to hand-lettering classes (really, y’all?) or wine and design “to relax.” But our inner perfectionist bursts out and we can’t relax because the shading on our abstract giraffe is not up to par with the instructor! We try to force ourselves into this box because we think that is where we belong. But, oh my darlings, we are suffocating ourselves! We begin to compare ourselves to everyone else around us. Thinking their hobby should be our hobby, or their parenting style should be our parenting style.

Uniquely made

Girl, look in the mirror!

You were created for more than comparison. God almighty knit every piece of you together. Every fiber of your being. He gave you that Type A personality. He wove the love of art into your soul. Just because your gifts are different from someone else’s does not make you any less of a person.

We tend to look to others to find ourselves – and our joy. But when, if ever, have you really taken the time to get to know you? What makes you tick? What brings you calm? What brings you passion?

What gifts, talents and personality traits are YOU blessed with? Each gift is uniquely YOURS and was given to you to embrace and to change the world.

So ask yourself, “Do you know who you are?”

Can you say YES to this?

Don’t worry if you’re thinking “Um, not yet.” Because I’m right there with you.

But I’m working on it. It’s both awesome AND hard!

Give yourself permission RIGHT NOW to learn about YOU. Give yourself time to just be YOU! To discover the intricacies of your DNA.

“Do you know what has happened to you?”

Well, yes, I’ve become a train wreck. Just like you – and don’t let anyone fool you into thinking they aren’t one, too.

We all have our struggles, our demons. We may have lost ourselves.

But listen closely, momma, this is YOUR TIME to take back YOUR IDENTITY.

Discover yourself anew and accept what has happened to you. This is your story. This is your moment. To recapture your soul. To find your joy!

Lean into the one that has bestowed these gifts to you. When you feel derailed and are losing your way, turn to the one who loves you most. Lean into Him and allow Him to show you who you are. For you are His!

How do you find joy in the midst of those train wreck moments? Comment below or on Facebook at MothersRest.

About the guest blogger:

Sara is a former preschool teacher, turned stay-at-home mom. Her days consist of chasing her son around the house, keeping a semi-normal life together, and annoying the mess out of her husband. She’s part of a team that creates curriculum for one of her church’s mom’s life groups that she also leads, along with a mom’s Bible study. Sara feels that her faith in God keeps her sanity in check. The Lord has laid on her heart to share in the struggles of motherhood and marriage with those around her throughout this season of her life.

Check out Sara’s other posts…

Her candor about the impact of children on marriage: How my kid almost crushed my marriage

Her thoughts on raising a strong-willed, curious boy who is into EVERYTHING: I’m sorry-not-sorry my kid is too busy for you

And her passionate call-to-action to protect our children against gun violence: We’ve had enough of your thoughts and prayers

Photo credit: marvelmozhko from pixabay.com