My oldest wakes up at 5:30am. Nope, I didn’t stutter. That’s right, 5:30-A-M! Anyone else feeling my pain? My kid has done this since he was a baby. Before he was weaned, I nursed him back to sleep for another...
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Use your words, my darling rage-child
My child is destined to be a sociopath. How often does that cross your mind? Never? I don’t believe you. How about when the bear lovie turns into a projectile aimed at #RockStarDad’s crotch? Or when the dog is pummeled...
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Hey pretty girl, beware the boogie man: Human trafficking is real
Human trafficking is a significant problem around the world. With women and girls sold into sexual slavery on an increasing basis. Hey pretty girl, with your sights set on traveling abroad, you must be aware of the dangers that lurk....
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How to manipulate your kid to do the right thing
If I actually knew how to manipulate your kid to do the right thing, I’d write a book. You’d buy it. I’d make a million dollars and retire from life. In the meantime, daycare gave me a reading assignment. For...
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The fun of locking your keys (and kids) in the car
Mimi and Poppa live 4.5 hours away. Once you do the math (2 small children under the age of 5 + 3 potty breaks each), I’m feeling good if I get there in 6. Anyone else relate? Uh, last weekend,...
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How to make stay-at-home Saturday great
How often do you have a Saturday with nothing to do? Without a soccer game on the schedule? Or some random kid’s birthday party? I struggle a bit with the lazy, stay-at-home Saturday. I tend towards listless and feel unmoored....
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Please don’t feed my kids crap at school
Oh, you know, kids can eat crap at school and totally succeed (um, nope!) So there’s no need to freak out about this awesome new bill the House of Representatives just introduced, benignly entitled, House Bill 610. Otherwise known as...
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Nap time died its horrible death
Any of you mommas crying big alligator tears right now because little cuteness just gave up nap time? It’s definitely a game changer. I mean, what happened to our mid-day break? Now instead of sitting around eating bon bons for...
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Sometimes momma’s just gotta cancel church
Christmas is my MOST FAVORITE time to go to church. There are CAROLS and LIGHTS and STARS and ANGELS and CHILDREN SINGING and… I could go on. One year, I felt particularly removed from God, until my mom dragged me...
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The Penis Chronicles
Life is always an adventure with little boys and their penes. (Yes, that's the plural form of penis. You're welcome.) Can I get an AMEN from all the boy moms?
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The secret to dressing little boys for church
On Sunday I announced it was his turn to pick out “church clothes.” Apparently, this phrase means nothing to a toddler. (Duh.) Y’all, he can handle my Monday through Saturday “go pick out your clothes” directive. So Sunday should be...
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