Tell me you’ve been there, too. When it’s 10am and it’s snack time. And everyone seems totally fine, totally into Barbies or science or whatever. So snack time comes and snack time goes. Sans snack.
All is calm. Until it isn’t.
Life goes off the rails FAST when small people are hungry. It’s all XOXO to glassy-eyed, sassy tyrants in 5 seconds flat.
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Snack time is life
Most days I can head off the HANGRY monster by watching the clock like a hawk.
Oh, I calculate, it’s 9am, the boys woke up at 6 and ate breakfast at 6:30, so we’ve got 20 minutes til the world crashes.
I start cutting up apples and walking around with an open jar of peanut butter. I’m the pied piper, hoping the smell will permeate their little worlds and they’ll magically appear by my side with mouths open like tiny birds waiting for treats.
This doesn’t always work. Sometimes I have to cajole them to park their bikes or stop crafting with boxes. Or to put down the can of spray paint, wash hands and EAT RIGHT NOW! This is met with complaints that I’m ruining their lives. That they don’t need food. That they have PROJECTS!
But these complaints are minor in the world of mothering. Because if I miss the crucial snack-time window, ALL HOLY HELL breaks loose.
Yesterday, this looked like one child randomly slapping me on the back.
He was beyond hungry, barely able to hold himself together long enough to open a yogurt container to eat the contents. You know, the SHAKY HUNGRY stage, where your kid starts trembling? Yep, he was shaking so much the container tipped over and yogurt poured onto his precious fingers. Oh, the horror! I happened to be within reach, thus the “pat on the back.” Then the other child started wailing because he wanted REGULAR APPLES, NOT PINEAPPLES.
Please tell me that at some point, they will recognize when they’re hungry. And go raid the pantry all by themselves. Especially perhaps at midnight. When does this happen? Because at ages 7 and 5, I’m still micromanaging them to keep the hangry monster at bay.
The hangry monster goes to school
The thing is I can’t hover around them at school to keep tabs on their food intake.
If actual school happens this fall, I will be praying to Dear Baby Jesus that my children don’t turn into hunger demons.
Like this past year.
I mentioned that my kids wake at 6 and eat breakfast at 6:30. School starts at 7:55. We go to one of those schools where if you arrive early, you can have FREE BREAKFAST! This never happened, though. Because my kid was tardy TWELVE TIMES (we only live TWO miles away). So the first-grader ate his early morning food stuffs at home and went on with his day at school.
He began bringing home behavior reports that went like this: RED for LIFE-IMPLODED, followed by HIGH RANKS IN MATH. We interpreted this as: ok, new grade, new teacher, new classmates, new rules, new assignments. And OH, WOW, HE LOVES MATH! FUTURE ENGINEER!
We responded with the traditional talks about LISTEN TO YOUR TEACHER and RESPECT YOUR TEACHER and ONLY TALK TO FRIENDS DURING RECESS.
Still, the behavior reports kept coming. The principal suggested we enroll him in Taekwondo. To gain some discipline.
Two weeks later we went to school open house and got insight into his actual day. The schedule looked like this:
7:55am – English class + reading comprehension + social studies
10:00am – PE or art or music or drama
12noon – lunch
1pm – recess
2pm – math
2:40 – dismissal
It suddenly dawned on me… He didn’t love math (ok, maybe he really does love math), dude was frikkin’ hungry! He’s used to eating every 2 to 3 hours. And math wins because it’s literally 2 hours after lunch. Whereas, he had to perform for FIVE HOURS, from breakfast time to lunch time, with no snack relief in sight, for basically all the other subjects. No wonder he was a hot mess most of the day.
Bring on the protein
We had to make some changes. I couldn’t fill his backpack with snacks, but I could control what he ate in the mornings. Well, let me rephrase this. #RockStarDad is in charge of the morning routine at our house, so he switched up the food offerings to be HEAVY ON THE PROTEIN, fiber and good fat.
Here are our go-tos, regardless of whether school is in session or not:
1. Anything made with protein-packed Kodiak mixes, like pancakes, waffles or oatmeal
2. Smoothies full of peanut butter and Greek yogurt
3. Granola and more Greek yogurt
4. Apples, bananas or other protein-filled fruit
5. Hard boiled eggs or scrambled eggs with cheese, plus sausage or bacon
6. Whole or 2% milk – preferably chocolate!
7. Adding Olly’s plant-based, protein powder to ALL THE THINGS
The change was immediate. His teacher was delighted. He was thrilled. We were ecstatic. The behavior reports turned BLUE. Every day. For all subjects. His brain now had the energy he needed to concentrate and keep from turning into a batshit, hangry monster.
For the love of cheese
Now that the summer is here and we’re home 24/7, we still live by the protein-fueled breakfasts. Because I need this house to be a peaceful one.
A mom asked me the other day, “Do your boys still get along?”
“Yes,” I answered proudly. Then I added, “Well, except when they’re hungry.”
Which is why you’ll probably see me watching the clock and throwing cheese sticks at my children every 2 hours. Just in case they’re hungry. And I should probably eat, too, because no one wants a hangry mother around either, amiright?
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PROTEIN-RICH FOODS