Whenever I drop “holy shit!” during normal conversation, my husband laughs at me. He says he’ll do the same thing if I start speaking jive or suddenly morph into a discussion on the relativity of time. It’s obviously not my thing.

In fact, I have never – not even once – said the word “f*rt” out loud. I just can’t say it. (Or, apparently, write it.) And I’m raising boys. Good luck to me, right? So the next time the 3-year-old burps in your face, you’ll probably hear him say: Excuse me. I passed gas. Out of my mouth.

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Hubby is a criminal defense attorney, so he gets major points when he lets an expletive fly. And it sounds oh-so-nonchalant. Small time drug dealers (allegedly) would have a hard time taking him seriously if he couldn’t riff along with them. Sometimes I wish I could do this, too. I mean words flow pretty freely in my head. And occasionally end up in a blog post or two just for fun.

Dealing with shit

When was the last time your brain did N-O-T NOT quite want to function? So it doubled down instead, clicking into survival mode?

Which meant you spent your precious waking hours looking for saber tooth tigers and waiting for the “love of your life” to place a heaping pile of dishes on the counter instead of putting them in the dishwasher.

Like your mind blitzed out and you were suddenly, “Alert! Alert!! This will not stand!” Defcon 4 kicked in, and the assailant had to die.

Poor hubby, thought he was being helpful because he actually took the dishes off the table after dinner. Sleepless-crazed-wife-thing is all about taking down any threat to her sanity. (#RockStarDad, you have been warned.)

Cussing does you good

You know what might have helped? A good bout of CUSSING!

According to Scientific American, there are science-y reasons we should really get into swearing:

“It allows us to vent or express anger, joy, surprise, happiness. It’s like the horn on your car, you can do a lot of things with that, it’s built into you.”

AH-HA! HA HA!

Laughter helps, too

Laughing can totally BREAK THE RAGE CYCLE.

Which means the next time you catch hubby putting dishes in the wrong spot, he should immediately start doing a dance routine. To jolt the mommy monster off-kilter and help you get a grasp on reality again. (So you can CALMLY coach him through the post-dinner clean up routine – FOR THE 80TH TIME.)

This is what marriage therapists call a repair attempt.

In his book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, John Gottman describes this as, “Any statement or action – silly or otherwise – that prevents negativity from escalating out of control.”

The daddy dance routine can help you regain your senses and place the carving knife back in the drawer. And then, together, you can bond while loading the dishwasher.

Water into wine

I don’t know if Jesus actually ever cussed. Because I don’t know Greek and Hebrew. But I’m pretty sure He wants you to laugh. Y’all, His first miracle was turning water into wine. To amp up the fun at that wedding reception.

Then there’s the whole golden rule and how you should love your neighbor as yourself. If you’re out on the prowl to throat-punch all the folks-who-ain’t-doing-chores-just-so, love isn’t really your thing right now.

So I say, ladies, let’s throw a BIG F-BOMB into the mix. To make things a little more LIVELY AND FUN!

To help you rediscover joy in the midst of sleep-deprived babyhood or crazy working-mother-life or hectic stay-at-home-mom chaos. So you can handle all the damn crap we mommas handle daily. And find some sweetness in the midst of it.

Give it a try. Cuss a little. You might even like it!

Plus, FUN MOM makes chore time for all the people in your house a tad more enjoyable. (Well, probably not, who am I kidding?)

Holy shit, dude, it’s worth a try!

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Photo credit: Katie Treadway from unsplash.com