I don’t really do New Year’s Resolutions. I also didn’t grow up giving up stuff for Lent (because in the 80s, Baptists didn’t know what it was.) And I don’t have a quarantine bucket list. To compensate, I randomly set goals for myself.

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Here’s my latest list. So this momma can get a little free time and maybe keep off the covid-19 pounds.

1. No chores after 8pm

Let’s start with my favorite goal: JUST SAY NO to housework after 8. As in, momma’s shift is OVER AND OUT! Momma’s officially OFF DUTY (and don’t you forget it!) Go bother someone else.

It’s now time for momma to read an adult book or drink an adult beverage or knit some highly inappropriate adult boxers for daddy.

2. No snacks allowed

Let’s keep going with this theme. And add: JUST SAY NO to snacking once the long hand points to the 8 and the short hand points to the 12.

This sounds easy enough. Except that I have small children. And when I try to eat dinner with them at 5:45, I manage to get food on my plate and not eat it. Someone suddenly needa go poop or spills their milk or whacks their brother.

You might be thinking this is the perfect way to lose weight, but it just means I’m starving after I’ve herded the boys off to bed – at 8pm.

Then I finally dine. Followed quickly by sitting on the couch, mindlessly snacking til it’s my own bedtime.

I’ve happily carried around those final 10 pounds of baby weight for 5 years now. AND YET it’s hard to ignore the whispers of “your metabolism slows down after 40.”

Y’all, this is a peloton-free household. And going on an evening walk feels like a chore (see “no chores” above). Which means cutting back on chips and ice cream post-dinner is pretty much the only option for weight control these days.

3. Go to bed early

Which leads right into my dream goal: Get yoself to bed by, like, 10:30.

So I’m not a total grouchy ass brat the next day.

And because there’s a sleep-hunger cycle that makes you really wanna KEEP SNACKING! (See the part above about over 40 and metabolism – ACK!)

In a study by the Mayo Clinic, sleep-restricted subjects gained more weight than their well-rested counterparts over the course of a week, consuming an average of 559 extra calories a day. People who get six hours of sleep per night are 23 percent more likely to be overweight. Get less than four hours of sleep per night and the increased likelihood of being overweight climbs to a staggering 73 percent.

That is due in part to the fact that people who get more sleep produce less of a hormone called ghrelin – the “hunger hormone,” which increases our appetite. The sleep-deprived group also had lower levels of the hormone leptin, the “satiety hormone,” which lowers our appetite.

–Arianna Huffington, author of The Sleep Revolution: Transforming your life, one night at a time

Wish me luck actually pursuing any of these goals for more than one week. But writing them down in a cute little journal and telling you about them are the first steps to accomplishing them, right?

Which I guess is why people create resolutions and bucket lists or make sacrifices during Lent. Goals like that help us name what’s important and communicate what we value. Which, apparently, means I like to be left alone and fantasize about going to bed early.

Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s already past my bedtime.

What goals do you set in your life? Share your thoughts below or on Facebook at MothersRest.

Photo credit: Mpumelelo Macu from Unsplash.com