When I was growing up, we were always surrounded by dachshund puppies. As in our house was an upscale puppy mill. Because my dad thought we should experience the miracle of dog birth. Which is, frankly, gross.

Puppies are born inside individual sacks which the mother eats. That’s a little much for middle schoolers to swallow. But, y’all, dachshund puppies are the dang cutest ever.

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The optimal nursing environment – for dogs

Keep scrolling down to the tips for human moms if you hate puppies…

The thing with puppies is that the sole purpose of the momma is to spend the day lying around. So the little sweeties can nurse. Especially because puppies start out with eyes wide shut. They find mom by instinct and while away the hours munching, sleeping, peeing, chewing. You know, pretty much like people babies.

One summer after a litter of cuteness was born, we headed off on our annual trek down I-81 to spend a month at “the lake.” (Sounds fancy, right? Lake vacation…Think more like: double-wide. It was the late 80’s, McMansions hadn’t infiltrated the heartland of Virginia yet.)

My parents loaded all of us up, including momma dog, daddy dog and 5 wriggling newborn wieners. By the time we arrived at the lake, all hell had broken loose.

Riding for hours (for FOUR hours to be exact) in the car was not what this nursing dog mom had in mind. My dad, you see, liked to go off-roading through the mountains. That often led to car-vomit sessions among us kids. And it definitely threw momma dog off her game. Her game being to laze around calmly to indulge her wee ones. Unfortunately, she refused to settle. Which meant the puppies couldn’t nurse. Which meant the puppies were, um, starving.

My mom, who solves all things, having been a nursing mom 3x times herself, immediately took action. And hauled the whole kit and caboodle to the emergency vet. Who managed to save the day by educating all of us on how to create the optimal canine nursing environment.

He said:

NEVER MOVE A NURSING MOTHER.

Now, years later, having myself breastfed two boys for 13 months each, I totally get this. It absolutely applies to people mommas. (Just ask that boob-turned-squirt-gun nursing mom.)

Nursing, especially for new mothers, is incredibly stressful. You’re all, like, why won’t this nursing thing work? Why does this nursing thing hurt? What if baby bites me? How do I know baby’s getting enough to eat? How do I deal with cracked nipples? How do I deal with mastitis? What is mastitis?

Nursing people moms, like nursing dog moms, need calm.

The optimal nursing environment – for humans

To create your perfect nursing nest, here are 4 tips and all the supplies you need. (Listen up, #RockStarDad!)

1. Never move a nursing mother

Once mom is settled with baby, leave her be. Even if she decides to nurse topless in public where all those peeping tom “distracted husbands” can see her. (Seriously, people, baby’s head is basically the same size as the titillating boob, so how much can you actually see?)

2. Wear a mom diaper

While I have friends who claim to have carried their nursing baby suspended upon a SUPER SECURE nursing pillow to the bathroom and peed, this seems like a recipe for disaster. What if you trip?! And sometimes those nursing sessions are interminable, like 1.5 hours. Baby snacks, baby dozes, mom wakes baby, baby snacks, baby dozes, mom wakes baby. Repeat. Then mom has to pee.

3. Ban distracting people

If possible, send big brother out of the room to watch cartoons or eat chocolate – whatever enticements you need to keep him away. Or perhaps grandma can entertain him. Because little sis has a hard time choosing boob when her delightful sib is around.

And while you’re at it, keep extraneous adults away, too. If you’ve got amazing friends stopping by to drop off food (amazing friends!!), leave the front door unlocked and text them that your house is now robber-ready. The risk is so worth it because you and baby might actually fall asleep. Gotta guard that with your life.

4. Create a luxurious, spa-inspired nursing station

Claim a designated area of the house with minimal decor distractions to keep baby focused on getting the job done as soon as possible (see #2 above: because you have to pee.) My first little guy liked to gaze at the quilts my great grandmother made, so all colorful trinkets were, henceforth, banned.

Other considerations

How much of a tech-addict are you? You might want access to the digital (or non-baby) world via TV, tablet or smartphone. I’m a Luddite and only kept the phone nearby in case of emergency, preferring to sing or chat endlessly (or nap) while baby nursed. Because I was afraid of Wi-Fi signals. (And now you hate me for giving you something else to worry about.)

What are your tips for low-stress, nursing? Comment below or share on Facebook at MothersRest.

Photo credit, featured image: bule from pixabay.com

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS AND COMMENTS
Loving these thoughts mommas shared on Facebook.

Make small goals for nursing. With my son I was nervous to nurse, not educated on Breast feeding and was emotionally drained. We were unsuccessful and I sadly stopped at 4 months. I made sure if I could try again I would be different.

I had a quote, “go with the flow,” for my daughter…. We were very successful. Threw her under my shirt, all you could see is little legs lol. Everyone was so supportive, and if they weren’t that’s fine too 😉. I joined a nursing groups. Now here I am nursing my last baby 6m strong. Now I wonder why was I so worried about strangers seeing a nip. The beginning is constant nursing with no time to spare, BUT it gets easier. Good luck!

Join a la leche league group pre baby. Then you feel comfortable reaching out (and have someone’s number) in those 1st weeks when it’s so hard.